
10 Things She Wishes You Knew About Sex and Perimenopause
Let's talk about sex, desire, and what's really going on with your partner's changing body during menopause. No BS, just straight talk about how to make intimacy better for both of you during this wild ride called midlife. The thing is, your partner's body is changing, and a little more understanding from you may help to get further in the bedroom.
What's In It For You
When you support her through these changes, there's a better chance you'll get:
- A partner who feels seen and appreciated
- A deeper bond that leads to more intimacy
- Better communication in and out of the bedroom
- A more confident partner who's excited to explore with you
- The chance to explore new ways of pleasure together
Let's dive into what she really wishes you knew (but maybe hasn't said out loud).
1. It takes courage to have these conversations - so listen.
Talking about intimacy isn't always easy, especially when your partner is dealing with changes that even she doesn't fully understand. If she opens up about what she needs, listen - really listen. That means hearing her words, responding with care, and following through, not just nodding along and reverting back to old habits.
💡 Oboo Gift Idea: Show her you're in this together with the Peri-Me-Oh-My Wellness Kit. It's a thoughtfully curated set that supports her comfort and well-being first - because great intimacy starts with feeling good in your own body.
2. She's not making excuses - her body is different now.
If she says she's too tired, uncomfortable, or just not in the mood, believe her. Perimenopause and menopause bring hormone shifts that can mess with energy levels, arousal, and even how her body responds to touch. This includes increased vaginal dryness that can lead to sexual pain. It's not about you - it's about her figuring out what works for her now. And your patience? That's sexy as hell.
💡 Oboo Gift Idea: Make her comfort a daily priority with Loob Daily, a natural moisturizer that works double-duty - providing everyday comfort and serving as the perfect lubricant when intimacy feels right. Because when she's comfortable, connection comes more naturally.
3. Her body image might be shifting too.
Midlife brings physical changes that can make a woman feel differently about her body. Maybe she's noticing new curves or feeling self-conscious about changes she can't control. Chances are she's probably harder on herself than you are. Your genuine appreciation - not just tolerating but actually celebrating her body - can help her feel more confident and sexy. And a confident woman? That's incredibly sexy.
4. Desire isn't just about sex, it's about connection.
For many women, intimacy starts long before the bedroom. If she feels distant from you during the day, it's harder to feel close at night. Small moments of connection - like touching her without expectation, making her laugh, or showing genuine appreciation - can reignite sexual desire in ways you might not expect.
💡 Oboo Gift Idea: Help her feel amazing every day with Smooth Daily Vulva Balm. This soothing daily care ritual shows you care about her comfort beyond the bedroom - and that's seriously sexy.
5. Foreplay starts way before bedtime.
A romantic text. An unexpected compliment. Doing the dishes without being asked. These little things add up, and they make a bigger impact than you might realize. If you want her to be in the mood later, start showing up for her in ways that make her feel seen and supported now.
6. Good grooming gets good things.
Let's be real: basic hygiene and grooming matter more than you might think. Trimmed nails, fresh breath, a recent trim, and overall cleanliness aren't just nice-to-haves - they're in-the-mood builders. When you take care of yourself, it shows you're making an effort, and that effort? It's seriously attractive. Plus, those trimmed nails and clean hands make any intimate touch so much more enjoyable. Think of good grooming as foreplay because in many ways, it is.
7. Toys are not your competition.
Let's clear this up once and for all: her vibrator isn't replacing you. It's an addition, not a substitution. Think of it like a power tool - it helps get the job done more efficiently, but you're still the one making it happen. And when used together, it can take things to a whole new level.
💡 Oboo Gift Idea: Add some playful exploration with Oooh or Smooch, these external tools are designed to complement partnered play, adding an extra layer of sensation while maintaining your deep connection. They're like the perfect wingman for your pleasure journey together.
8. Support her solo exploration journey.
Here's something that might seem counterintuitive: encouraging her "me time" can actually lead to better partnered intimacy. When she has space to rediscover what feels good on her own terms - whether that's through self-pleasure, relaxation rituals, or just quiet time to decompress - she builds confidence that carries into your intimate moments together. Think of it this way: the more comfortable she is with her own body and pleasure, the more she can share that joy with you. So when she wants to take an #ObooBreak? Consider it an investment in your future fun together.
💡 Oboo Gift Idea: Support her journey of self-discovery with Groove, designed to help her explore and reconnect with herself. When she feels empowered in her pleasure, everyone wins.
9. Be open to changing your game too.
Old habits might need some updating. Try new positions that are comfortable for her (especially if she's experiencing any sexual pain), create a sexy playlist instead of keeping the news on in the background, and remember - her pleasure first isn't just generous; it's smart. When she reaches the peak first, she's more likely to want to climb that mountain again. Plus, mixing things up keeps it exciting for everyone. Show her you're willing to learn and explore just like she is.
10. This can be a time of discovery, not just change.
Yes, her body and desires are shifting due to menopause , but that doesn't mean pleasure is over. In fact, it can be even better. With the right mindset (and a few fun additions), this stage of life can be about exploration, adventure, and new kinds of intimacy that weren't even on the table before.
💡 Oboo Gift Idea: Ready to explore together? The Spice Things Up Set gives you everything you need to make intimacy fun, comfortable, and exciting again. Think of it as your toolkit for rediscovery - together.
BONUS TIP: If she makes the face, keep the pace!
Seriously guys, when something's working, don't get creative. Keep. Doing. Exactly. That.
Quick Wins:
- Send that flirty text now (not just before bed)
- Ask about her day and really listen (foreplay for the brain)
- Touch her without agenda (build anticipation naturally)
- Make her laugh (nothing's sexier than genuine connection)
The Bottom Line
You've got this. Supporting your partner through midlife changes isn't just about being a good partner - it's about building a better intimate life for both of you. And with the right tools and understanding, you might just find that the best is yet to come.
Want to show her you care? Start with something that says "I see you, I hear you, and I'm in this with you." Whether it's the Peri-Me-Oh-My Wellness Kit for overall support, Smooth Daily Vulva Balm for daily comfort, or the Spice Things Up Set for you both to try something new, your thoughtfulness will mean more than you know.